We want stories from the world. Digging deep into our impulse to craft narrative can explain quite a bit about the modern world. We are not mythical creatures, but we are the ones who create the myths. (I’ll cede that this line is probably inspired by spending the last month re-reading Neil Gaiman’s Sandman.)

Story drives us as the basic unit of culture. Reality TV, office gossip, and even the random shouting of social media are all telling some kind of story. We’re swimming in narrative, most of it created subconsciously.

When you look are and nothing quite makes sense, you’re going to reflexively create the details to give it cohesion. We do this all day, every day, and have little reason to stop. I wouldn’t be able to without a strong dose of self-regulation and perspective.

The problem comes in when these narratives are given the same value as truth. These are little more than the myths you make of the world. We need to have an idea of why we are crafting these narratives in our head. Are we just trying to ensure that our world stays consistent?

I find that I am often trying to give my thinking a shortcut. Using assumption or induction to stand in for complete knowledge can help you get along day to day. As long as your reason is sound, it’s often not that wrong. However, you may be making declarative statements to avoid asking questions.

There isn’t a day that goes by that I am not astounded by someone’s complete lack of curiosity. It’s probably the defining characteristic of the current era. Everyone assumes a cursory glance is as good as study. Attributing motive to other people is far easier than asking them.

Though I think it’s just as likely that people are presenting a version of themselves that is just as fraudulent, it doesn’t matter. It’s more about adjusting my perspective and ensuring that I’m not fooling myself into thinking I can be certain of the way the world works.

It’s tricky, but you need to learn to be comfortable with not knowing. The little shorthand can be excellent for getting through the day to day, but when you’re trying to assign people a motive, it might be wise to ask, “How do I know this?” It’s helpful to ensure that you’re not starting from ideas you invented.

It’s uncomfortable not knowing. But sitting with that discomfort can save you far more trouble when you find yourself mad about nothing. This problem isn’t just about arguing with strangers; we’re often attributing malice to people’s thoughtlessness and assuming that we can put together the entire event like the end of a Sherlock Holmes story. Now it’s a personal slight, which changes the reaction.

I am exploring these ideas because I know that I am regularly guilty of this. I want to get better, and I want to create a process to get there. Stopping and asking seems simple, let’s see if I can actually do it. Sure beats wasting time with another pointless argument on the internet.