You knew that it was going to be a weird event when Apple let all of its hardware announcements slip via press releases, ensuring that only its services had the stage for today’s event. Though I have mostly left my tech writing life behind, my years at Macgasm make watching every one of these a reflexive habit.

I don’t think if I would have gone back to myself five years ago and said that Apple was going to sell a credit card, a game streaming service, a newsstand app, and tv streaming all in the same day I would believe you.

While I get that cheering for a credit card is likely the peak of forced employee enthusiasm, I don’t really understand the hate. Banks suck, the credit card you use for Apple pay and iTunes is likely your primary credit card. Ensuring you don’t even need to pay interest outside the walled garden gives you a couple of extra turns in the labyrinth to ditch the Apple ecosystem. It was a dumb thing to give any stage time to, but it does appear that Apple at least believes that they can make credit cards better.

Rebranding Texture and throwing in some newspapers is a good idea. They seem to have used their existing deals to try and relaunch the same plans they did back when Newsstand was a magazine app store. The Daily may have failed, but another run at digital-focused magazines might not.

The solution to how terrible freemium gaming has been is subscription services. PlayStation and Xbox already have services to get you a catalog of older games. Nintendo includes a classic gaming library with their online service. Apple brings the model to mobile with the same aplomb that they invented something everyone else is already doing. It’s the company’s trademark at this point. However, the games shown do look like they are pushing the envelope on quality for mobile games. I’m cautiously optimistic that this might work out as a way to support small studios, as well as ambitious projects from the majors.

Combining an Apple version of Amazon channels with a front for a bunch of cable channels looks to be what was initially rumored as the Apple TV years ago. The interface is good, and it already has the two biggest cable providers out there. I would bet getting both of them has been the delay in rolling this out. My TV service isn’t here, so it will continue to be an aggregate search to figure what, if any, services offer a movie.

The original shows were meant to be the centerpiece, and they attempted to spread across genres in different ways. Kumail’s section just shows that companies should just hire stand-ups to host these things. His show presenting human stories of immigrants looks like it could be a modern take on Studs Terkel.

I’m in on this for at least the Amazing Stories remake. I think this was put after the service aggregator because they want to ensure you think of them last when removing subscriptions cause your streaming services outweigh your old cable bill.

To ensure that books didn’t get jealous, Oprah is bringing her book club to iOS and the Mac. I am amazed at how much sway she still has over the media, but I am probably completely outside the target demo. Hopefully we can eventually get a sci-fi book club from NK Jemisin or a fantasy club from Neil Gaiman.

Services Apple seems to have all the pomposity and production of old Apple. In place of glowing white rooms, we get tight trailers talking about the power of stories. Time will tell if this all works as we near an era with all computing hardware is commodified. That said, the company that opens the day with a tribute to Saul Bass at least looks like it is having fun. Something the white box Apple didn’t seem to be doing anymore.